


ユーリ！！！ on Crack

by giornarancia



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, idk what’s wrong with me, its almost midnight, yuri on ice crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2020-10-12 06:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20559452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giornarancia/pseuds/giornarancia
Summary: This is just absolute craziness.





	1. Adios

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter names named after Songs

“Let’s end this.” is what Yuuri wanted to say. But instead he said, “let send tis.” That was when everything went downhill. 

“Yuuri.... weed how too eat tis.” 

“Viktor.... we gotta eat dis.”

”Yuuri.... we....” Viktor makes dramatic hand motions. “need to make this feast.....” Viktor makes more dramatic hand motions. “great again.”

”Viktor.... WE MUST EAT THIS BEFORE TEAM ROCKET COMES.”

”Yuuri.... according to all known laws of eating, there should be no way that people should be able to eat. Its mouth is too small to get its food swallowed. The people, of course, eat anyway. Because humans don’t care what gods think is impossible. **VIKTOR** White red, white red, white red, white red, white red, white red, oooh.... red and white.... yeah let’s—“ Yuuri giggled. “STOOOOOP” Viktor looked at Yuuri. Then he looked at the nonexistent camera. “I’m Viktor Nikiforov from Yuri on Ice and you’re watching Disney Channel.” He waves the wand around into the Disney channel logo shape and smiles.


	2. Alligator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alli alli alli alligator 🐊

i am a man.

a man, yes i am.

man, am i?

am i man?

nam a ma i.

ma i sey, nam a.

i ma, nam?

nam i ma?

i a m a m a n.

aw i give up.

**v**ictory

**i**n

**k**ites

**t**o

**o**ctopi

**r**ats

**n**ever

**i**s

**k**ind

**i**t

**f**orfeits

**o**ne

**r**hyme

**o**f

**v**oice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> make sure no snes


	3. uh-oh

Viktor: Yuuri! Help me! There’s something in my shoe! Come upstairs quick!

Yuuri: haha very funny. I know your foot is in it.

Viktor: I’m not wearing shoes, Yuuri. IM NOT PLAYING AROUND HELP ME

Yuuri groaned, and got off the couch. He walked upstairs into Viktor’s room.

”What is it?” Viktor looked terrified.

”T-T-There’s s-something in my boot......” Yuuri walked over to him and tried to look inside the boot. “There’s a snake in my boot.” Yuuri grabbed the boot and threw it at Viktor’s face.


	4. hallow wiener

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lowkey sounds inappropriate

“Yuuri...... I had the greatest idea for our Halloween costume!”

”You better not be a penis for Halloween, Vitya. Even if you are, I’m not going to be an ass.” Viktor gasped.

”WHY WOULD I BE A PENIS?? Do you think I’m crazy?” Yuuri laughed.

”Yes.” Viktor scoffed.

”That’s besides the point! I was thinking that I could be a hot dog and you could be the buns. It’s a great couple costume!” Yuuri threw a sausage at Viktor’s face.


	5. (slightly inappropriate *mentions butts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> viktor, the crackhead, makes a comeback

“Yuuri, do you mind if I put my face in your ass?” Yuuri looks at him weirdly.

”No.......? Why......?” He gasped at the sudden face plant into his ass by Viktor. He feels a sudden vibration, which probably means he was taking.

”what what.” Yuuri, who only feels it but doesn’t understand, gets extremely confused.

”Vitya, what did you say....?” Viktor stands up.

”I said what what in the butt.” Yuuri then slaps him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> low key proud of myself but also mad at myself


End file.
